The End of Euphoria

It took a lot less time than I thought it would.

Link. Updating your links is a good idea if you do that sort of thing.

I didn’t want to give a link and then have half a functioning site around it. It’s still under construction, mind you, but the new blog is not the only thing there like it was when I decided on the move. The Glass, layout-wise, is busier than this was, I think, but I finally was able to add in the stuff I’ve been meaning to add here over the last year.

A hunch: “Ingredients” will skew big toward half-empty by August.

Green flag’s out, green, green, green.

I was starting to wonder how much longer it would take, without an update, for my “deceased” post to ever trigger. But no; that would take a wee bit longer. Heh. I’ve been busy lately, but the conclusion to all this is right around the bend.

This is the end of the road for me here.

The biggest test of the last post was whether or not I’d believe myself in the morning when I woke up. Somehow, I did. I mean, I need a lot of conditioning for it to stick, but I think we’re on the right track. Granted, the post doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to anyone but me, but when does anything around here?

But what does it mean, mean? I’m taking up residence at my other domain, and the link will appear here in a few days when things are more or less ready to go there. I’m hoping to go back posting more with lots of extras on the page that give it a more “at-home” feel to go with an increased or regular posting pattern (hopefully). It’ll be the corporate me, though, compared to what you’ve seen here.

I’m keeping this space until September 27 or so, when the domain expires. I may post periodically here, but only in extreme circumstances. I believe you faithful readers (I don’t envy you!) here will be told somehow when I do. We’ll see.

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Rather than make another post, I’ve decided to update my life with inline changes to preexisting posts. I might continue using the format if I like it.

I do either one of two things most of the time. I wax poetic when I should be furious or, at least, extremely irritated. I become infuriated when I should be waxing poetic. That is, in essence, the story of my life.

I spent the entire day a mess, blaming myself for a situation after trying unsuccessfully to pass the blame to others. Then I realized that it’s just that: a situation. My life is not at stake. My career does not hang in the balance. My wife did not walk out on me. My house still stands. Situations pass. They always do.

And these thoughts mellowed me out. I had prepared scripts for different situations I was bound to encounter in the next few weeks, but I realized later that I was getting consumed with the little things. I am always hopelessly consumed with the little things. With some people, words are just that: words. They carry no meaning once they’re outside the context they are uttered in. I overlooked that fact. With some people, a simple action is just that. Those little actions aren’t meant to be the butterfly in Japan causing tornadoes in Kansas, but oftentimes I look back and selfishly connect the dots, believing that they are.

No more. So, with this in mind, I can’t really say that this is the “End” of Euphoria anymore. I’m at the beginning.

(I’ll be back in a few days when I know exactly what this means.)

There’s another entry waiting in the pipeline, but for this week I find this very apropos. “Little Victories” by Matt Nathanson. I liked him but didn’t hear this song for the first time until last week. What would I do without Scrubs?

This time
I’ll be sailing
No more bailing boats for me

I’ll be out there on the sea
Just my confidence and me

And I’ll be awful sometimes
Weakened to my knees

But I’ll learn to get by
On little victories

This time, I’ll have no fear
I’ll be standing strong and tall
Turn my back towards them all

And I’ll be awful sometimes
Weakened to my knees
And I’ll learn to get by
On little victories
And if the world decides to catch up with me
Still little victories

I want to do a lot more sports blogging in the future, and it’s a trend I’ve already started a little.

Anyway, the Hawks laid an egg in Boston. Correction: they laid a whole flock’s worth of eggs. Shot down with a rocket launcher, scorched by a solar flare, burnt up by UV rays, zapped with Cyclops’ laser, fried by power lines, sniped by Dick Cheney. I have more, but you get the point.

When you start a game - any game - 4-18 shooting (that’s 22%), you deserve to lose. Or, at least, you will lose. I could see this early and it made me glad I turned down an ex-roommate’s invitation to view the game in downtown. It saved me the time to unpack, saved me the embarrassment, and best of all, it saved gas.

An outing this pathetic is sure to cost the team either its coach or its general manager, or maybe both.

I guess this means I’m going to hear it for all the trash talk I’ve come up with across the board lately, but yes, the better team won. I rode KG to my fantasy playoffs, so I’ve got respect for the C’s.

May 14: I see Boston still hasn’t managed to win a game away from the friendly confines of the Garden and the home cooking they get from their referees. I think the Cavs will also push Game 7 with the Cs and could actually pull off the upset.

About the downtime…yeah, that was unfortunate. I have faith in my host, though. I’ve been with them over a year and the service is top-notch. Half of this was my fault for not following their instructions almost two months ago.

As a result, I’ve got a pair of posts ready to come off the bench and get in here, so to speak. The first one is below.

I’m on vacation now, so it means that I can catch up on being lazy for one week before summer classes start. Be it football games on my XBox or making smalltalk with friends, whatever. I don’t care. I don’t mind, but the main thing I’ve done since getting home has been to take care of my mom, who is definitely healthier than the last time I saw her but still not “there” yet.

5/13: Driving and working out again. Almost there.

I got sick midweek after weakening my immune system (I suppose) over the first couple of days of the week, and by Friday night I was incapable of anything requiring complex thought. Saturday, I woke up with a headache and it didn’t even stay away more than an hour when I took some pills for it. Man, and I’ve been so incredibly thirsty. Never experienced anything like it before. Apparently it’s just sinus stuff related to pollen, but jeez.

5/14: Still suffering ten days later. Sigh.

Graduation came and went Saturday. This graduation will take a while to sink in for me. I’m not sure who graduated on time, but I estimate probably half of my friends at school are gone now, proudly entering the real world. I’m so happy for them. At some point I’m going to need to wake up and smell the sweet tea and join them. When I say changes are afoot, this is what I’m alluding to. In August, things are going to be different. I’m going to be old, even though I’m actually young for my class. Most of my friends who aren’t graduating Saturday will graduate August 2, and then I guess it will really be open season on the upperclassmen.

5/13: On being young: I should actually be a junior, a 3rd year, so it’ll be a return to earth in a way to graduate with some of them. They’re still snotnose juniors, though.

Finally rid of that one ridiculous roommate. Hope I never see him again. I got my laugh of Friday afternoon when he called our Community Adviser (for our dorm floor) to check out. Only…he signed up for a time nobody could check out during. Listening to him try to explain his way out of that was an amazing feat. I wished him luck in the future, but it was almost the most insincere thing I’ve ever said; I meant it, but I did not feel it.

Oh, and the Hawks. I have many reasons to dislike the Celtics and everything sports-related in the region, but I simply laugh. As of the writing of this post (not the publish), Atlanta and Boston are going to Game 7, just like 20 years ago. Unlike then, the Hawks have nothing to lose; the city suddenly believes in its basketball team again and NBA analysts are in total disbelief that we’re still talking about this series. Personally, I’ve been a fan of the Hawks as long as I’ve been watching pro sports. I’ve seen 50-win seasons and 70-loss seasons, so seeing something like this is just simply amazing.

It’s a good time, too, to think about NaNoWriMo. I know the 2007 story didn’t quite work out as I hoped, but it gave me a taste for what I want to do this year. Like last year, I’m fairly certain this year’s story - if I have time to write it - will be a romance. I think if it’s researched enough and I’m comfortable enough (and I don’t fall behind early like last year), it could be one to go the distance. As for the past NaNos…I believe getting the ‘06 one completed this year is a goal if I have time. If I can do that, then I’ll look at last year’s and see how I can move on with that one.

5/13: Have a couple of ideas bubbling up. One is the romance, and the other is a take on post-apocalyptic fiction crossed with reality television. I don’t know how it would work, but I’d like to include some humor with the latter.

But honestly, first things first. Go Hawks, go vacation.

Change is in the air. Thursday and Friday were very interesting days and for very different reasons.

I’ll start with the day that is easier to talk about, Friday. I woke up a bit hung over and suffering from the sighs again. I picked up a Change of Major form when I sobered up.

I’m definitely thinking about a change now. I’ll have until about May 10th to decide. If we reconsider the sexy secretary I alluded to a few posts back, well, I think I just had too good a night out with her. I think the rest of 2008 should be very interesting, provided I figure out what I want to do in 2009. Sigh.

5/13: No change. I don’t think it was a rash thing to do, but sticking it out was the only sane option for 2008.

Thursday was a very long day. Operating on three hours of sleep, I walked into my last final knowing I’d need something incredible to happen. And I didn’t panic. I guess I was comfortable, for the first time in a while, even though that something didn’t happen. (5/13: Did it? I’m not so sure it didn’t after looking at my grades.) I promptly crashed afterward. I had a long-delayed night out with a friend to prepare for, as well as pack up for move-out. As for the night out, it was interesting. I’ll dispense with the floral accents and make this brief because you can never know who’s reading these things. I guess it was a case of timing. When things go right for so long and then change so suddenly, I have no other explanation. Sigh.

She has a choice to make. And she’ll have to deal with that choice, spending countless moments wondering, “What if?” after all that happened. There’s no rush, I think, and plenty of time left on the clock. I had my own choice to make, too, and the last couple of days I’d woken up in the morning with different decisions, but Saturday morning I finally made up my mind. There’s more I wish I could say, but it’s really not going to matter to anyone. Sigh.

5/13: “Sigh” is right. I think karma was paying me back for the past, fair or not. No problem, though; it’s business as usual now.

C’est la vie. We do what we can, and when that doesn’t pan out, you know that you did what you could. And that’s in general, not just for this week, but for anything. It’s no brilliant statement, but sometimes we lose track of that fact. Lord knows I do. The fuck was I talking about?

All unrelated to school, of course.

May 1: freedom (for ten days, anyway)

May 6: Lost Season 3 score release

Twice in the last three days, including tonight: watching the Boston Celtics lose! Atlanta has not been a basketball town like this since 1999! Oh my.

This will be updated throughout the week.

(Due to hosting outage, the statement above no longer applies )

I technically don’t have time for this entry, but then again I’m not normally awake at this time of morning on the weekend.

My hardest (perception-wise) final is tomorrow - Monday. I’ve got a take-home due Thursday and another one from the same instructor in a different class also on Thursday. If I could swap the dates, I’d do it, but I can’t.
Why the swap? Well, we’ve been given a practice exam with 200 sample questions. And some of those are guaranteed to be on the final. Why is this a bad thing? TEN of the 200 will be on the exam, not 100, and all 200 are short answer questions or formula-type questions.

Surprisingly, while I find it sort of outrageous, it pales in comparison to what I’ve heard about another class. Ever had material added to your exam in the last week of class? Of course. How about on the weekend before your exam? Yeah, different story. Not only that, most of the exam will apparently consist of questions on that same new material! Jeez. I’d at least think about a complaint of some sort regardless of how it goes if I were in the class.

As I went out to lunch yesterday, I passed a guy hanging out by an apartment door from afar. A girl comes out to greet him. All of a sudden, he springs a bunch of flowers on her. I cringed. She didn’t even react for several seconds. Then she kissed him and all was well. I thought these things only happened in movies. Guess not.

Anyway, unless I’m completely weighed down with stress, this is it until Thursday at the earliest.